


Surprise, Surprise!

by commanderwoobie



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, i tried writing a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 20:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderwoobie/pseuds/commanderwoobie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lister pulls a prank on Rimmer and it doesn't end the way he planned</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprise, Surprise!

**Author's Note:**

> I know the title sucks, but I'm really bad at titles. xD Anyway, this is my first Red Dwarf fic (more in the works, though) and thanks for clicking that link! Hope you enjoy!

He knew it was stupid and childish and futile, but dammit, it was _fun_. Lister tore through the engine deck, already breathing heavy, as he tried to keep away from Rimmer. He had snatched the other man’s diary when the Cat had distracted him with an inane question. Lister hopped over a pipe, spun around a boiler and tore off back towards the stairs. He heard a metallic clatter and some swearing as Rimmer ran into something. He half laughed, half cackled as he ran through the common area and swung himself up on the stairs to the living quarters. The scouser paused a moment before going into Rimmer’s room, locking the door shut behind him. No doubt the hologram would expect Lister to hide out in his own room. He hopped up on the neatly made bed and shoved himself into a corner. With his chest heaving from being out of breath, Lister grinned, looking at the diary in his hands. He hadn’t had a chance to read it since Rimmer has his hard light upgrade and he was curious about the new entries. So he quickly flipped through the pages, starting from the back. He saw his name a few times, the Cat’s, Kryten’s, even Ace’s.

Then something else entirely caught his eye. Frowning, Lister turned back a few pages and stared.

That was a drawing.

Rimmer could draw?

Smeg, Rimmer could smegging draw.

After the initial shock of finding out Rimmer could smegging draw and was smegging _good_ at it, Lister had a second shock.

That was a drawing of _him_  
.  
If Lister had ever thought of Rimmer drawing him, he would have expected some crude caricature. Not…. _this_. Rimmer had drawn him…smiling.

And for the third shock, Lister saw in Rimmer’s neat handwriting, the words “the git doesn’t even know” on the opposite page.

Didn’t know _what_?

The fourth shock was delivered by the sound of boots pounding up the stairs. Lister slammed the diary shut and held his breath. But he was certain Rimmer could hear his heart hammering against his chest. He heard Rimmer run past the door, stop, and then nothing. Lister tried to push himself farther into the corner, a fresh wave of adrenaline spiking though his system. Suddenly the door fwooshed open and Rimmer had an unexpected feral grin on his face.

“Ha!” Rimmer barked out as he stalked into the room. “Nowhere to run now, milladdo.”

Lister frowned and moved to jump off the bed to run for it, but Rimmer shifted to block him. “How’d ya know I was in here?”

“I hadn’t locked the door when I left. Now. Give it back.”

“Nope,” Lister replied with a wide grin. He quickly tucked the diary inside his jacket and launched himself off the bed to dash past Rimmer, but the hologram snagged him around the waist and threw him back onto the bed.

A moment of fear flashed through him and he tensed up, hoping not to smack his head against a wall. Next thing he knew, Rimmer was straddling him, sitting on his thighs.

“Give it back.”

“Y’know where it is,” Lister said, surprised when his voice came out lower than usual.

The hologram’s eyes narrowed, a frown pulling at his lips. Lister saw the suspicion in Rimmer’s eyes and felt his body tense. So he tried to convey this was all just good fun and Lister wasn’t trying to pull a more complex prank—Lister stretched his arms about his head, palms up, and relaxed. Rimmer was still a moment more before hesitantly leaning forward and holding both of Lister’s wrists in one long fingered hand. When Lister didn’t move, the hologram grinned and something flashed in his eyes. Lister wasn’t entirely sure what it was—well, no. He knew exactly what it was, but seeing it in Rimmer didn’t compute and it was doing funny things to his head. He was also rather surprised when he found out Rimmer was a hell of a lot stronger than he thought. Rimmer’s one hand was holding him easily, and Lister wasn’t exactly pretending to struggle. Yep, there would be bruises. And…he was surprisingly okay with that.

Lister let out a playfull growl, twisting and pulling his wrists in a futile attempt to free himself. And when Rimmer gave a low, almost predatory laugh, it bypassed _everything_ and went straight below the belt. Rimmer’s free hand trailed feather light along the zipper of Lister’s jacket and the scouser coulda sworn his heart stuttered. The hologram’s hand traveled back up and slipped inside his jacket and Lister was sure Earth could hear his heart pound.

He bit his lip, watching Rimmer watch him. Lister gave a half hearted twist of his wrists as hard-light fingers left a heat against his skin through the worn fabric of his clothes. Too soon, Rimmer located his diary and pulled it out. The hologram cocked a brow, leaning forward so Lister only saw hazel flecked with green. Instead of breath, he felt a faint electricity. And suddenly, it was gone. Rimmer was walking out the door.

Lister laid there with a raging hard on and a tingle left where lips had lightly brushed against his.


End file.
